Panel Shares How Past Failures Shaped Future Success
Failure is a part of life, but how you overcome those struggles can make the difference in shaping your life said the panel speaking at the Cardinal Core Curriculum “Phoenix Forum” Tuesday night on the SUNY Plattsburgh campus.
Moderator Dr. Wendy Gordon, professor of history and Cardinal Core coordinator, asked panelists President Alexander Enyedi, Provost and Senior Vice President for Academic Affairs Marcus Tye, alumna Steffanie Jabaut and Vice President for Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Allison Heard questions on how they not only faced adversity but rose above it. Panelists also shared their own pearls of wisdom for being successfully happy now.
Jabaut, 2020 grad and human resources coordinator at Schluter Systems in Plattsburgh, opened by saying her adulthood was informed by her childhood as she “bounced from home to home before being adopted by (her) grandparents.”
“Some things are beyond your control,” she said. “My best answer would be that I took what I went through as a child, pivoted, and made it work in my favor.
As a result, she said, “I am able to speak to groups of people, I give back to community, I help the university find more scholarships. I look back and am able to speak about what I went through. Without your experience, you wouldn’t be able to be here. One tiny thing can change the whole course of your life.”
“I was in my third semester as a biology/genetics student and was significantly disillusioned with the program,” Enyedi said. “I considered dropping out, shifting programs, and I went to my academic adviser. I told him I was struggling.”
‘Kicking you Out’
Enyedi’s adviser looked him in the eye and told him, “It’s clear, Mr. Enyedi, that you don’t belong here. I’m not going to approve your add/drop request. We’re going to have the pleasure of kicking you out.”
Enyedi told the Yokum audience that he became more committed than ever “to getting through it. I ended up switching my major to environmental biology,” he said.
Tye explained how he learned how to better manage time after an ill-advised 48-hour all-nighter working to complete his thesis as an undergrad.
“I ended up turning (the thesis) in two days late. I was profoundly depressed,” he said. While he did receive an A-minus in the class, he said that wasn’t the way to achieve it.
“I had to manage my time better as a grad student,” he said. “As a professor, I got a book contract and I was able to plot the time out in stages, writing a chapter every three weeks, while teaching a full load. If I had not had that undergrad experience, I’d not have been able to achieve that.”
The clinical psychologist’s book, “Sexuality and Our Diversity: Integrating Culture with the Biopsychosocial,” is about to come out in its third edition.
Rock Bottom
Jabaut said growing up, the way she saw things was worse than what was happening or what could happen.
“Starting at rock bottom, I over-analyzed every decision,” she said. “The best thing that came out of that was learning not to take anything for granted. I promise you’ll get through it. So do everything; get involved. Take it all in.”
“My moment of Zen was to make sure I was aware of what’s happening,” Enyedi said. “Slow it down; focus on the most important thing. Develop patience. There doesn’t have to be a quick solution. I’m all about 360-degree awareness. Listen. Reflectively listen.”
Gordon asked panelists if they could explain their take on the difference between “hard” and “impossible.”
“I don’t think you can always tell the difference,” Tye said. “It’s OK to fail. Prioritize your strengths. For Olympic athletes, winning the gold is their priority, their ultimate goal. Getting there is hard; it might also be impossible, but you have to figure out what the priorities are for you.”
‘Hard is Doable’
“Hard is doable but requires work and investment. You have to be able to say you’ll put the effort in,” Enyedi said. “But it’s not realistic to think you can be proficient in something without practice. Practice uncovers numerous details that are intrinsic to that duty.
“It reveals to you what you need to do correctly to achieve that goal,” he said.
“At SUNY Plattsburgh, you work with so many different teams. There are a lot of people who can help you as you figure out what’s best for you,” Tye said. “You have your advisers, friends, faculty members. We have amazing student support services you can resource. I’m trained as a psychologist. All that helped me get through life. If you have a romantic partner, sometimes they’re a good source of support. You’re not alone.”
Heard agreed, but added the caveat, “You have to be willing to ask for help.”
“Many people feel they’re the only person to have this question or that question. Or you’re an imposter; you don’t know why you’re here or even how you got here. If you ask for help or ask questions, they’ll find out you don’t belong here. But I promise you, people are willing to help. We are here to help.”
Jabaut brought a voice from the real world to the table, telling students, “It’s a lot scarier to fail when your paycheck depends on it. Look inwards. Identify why you might not want to reach out. But this,” she said gesturing. “This is a safe space. Reach out.”
— Story, Photos by Associate Director of Communications Gerianne Downs